I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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