your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
D3 body, D1 cock
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
