Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
