You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
