Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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