I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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