Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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