i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
