I got chris browned last night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
