I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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