Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
