we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
