I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
