Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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