Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
