your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
