he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Congratulations! We have a period
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
