Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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