Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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