You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
