dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
