he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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