I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
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If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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