On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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