four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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