This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too