So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?