yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
