Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
