Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That's how pantless uber rides happen
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
