my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
