you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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