It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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