yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize