I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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