She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
