No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
