Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.

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(415): View more from California

Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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(619): View more from California

He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"

(219): View more from Indiana

I have so much to learn from you, wise slut

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(662): View more from Mississippi

We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.

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(845): View more from New York

Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.

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(646): View more from New York

lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact

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(816): View more from Missouri

I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain

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