Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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