Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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