I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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