how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize