Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
