I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
