I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
