4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
