I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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