I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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