shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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