do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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