school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
