one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize