I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
do nipples grow back?
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