Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
