it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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