I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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