she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
