I love black thongs
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
